Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 36: Did He Look Hard?

Man in a beanie with a propellerDo you keep haunted stuffed elephants under your stairs? Is your co-worker secretly (or openly) a huge beanie enthusiast? Is Steve angry at Jason for liking scarves so much? The answer to these questions and more is up for you to come up with, because Today, I Learned Nothing.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 35: We All Just Want To Have A Happy Ending

Cheetos Quesadilla from Taco BellJason hates his body, so you get his review of Taco Bell’s Naked Chicken Chips as well as McDonald’s Signature Crafted Recipes. Meanwhile, Steve thinks he found a brothel and is ready to explain the intricacies of erotic massage to his co-host. Finally, comic shops are known for a wide array of varietals in flatulence. But what do you do when the comic shop owner is the most flatulent one of all?

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 34: Penguile Dysfunction

Penguin turned otaku by zooEver hear of a penguin who falls in love with a human woman? How about a cartoon representation of one? Also, bridges are terrifying to some, but traumatizing to all who have gotten their heads stuck in one. Finally, Jason’s robotic childhood was robbed of many seminal, heart-wrenching moments. Let’s make him relive them now!

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 33: Do Not Mouseover

A disclaimer for Toonami on Adult SwimSteve attended Sakuracon and wondered just how different we all are, really. He also discovered adaptive homeless people, which really sounds like some promising tech. Jason, meanwhile, besmirches anime and usually falls asleep before he can watch enough to form a cohesive argument.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 32: We’ve All Peed In The Mayonnaise

Scar from The Lion King sings "Be Prepared"When it comes to vomiting, it’s best to act like a Boy Scout and be prepared. Also, are all Target bathroom sinks designed to spray your crotch? Jason investigates. Also, Steve and his son are especially adept at finding dead men in bathrooms. Use this knowledge to determine when or if you will accompany them to the can.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 31: That Was Our Inside Joke, Google!

Grasshoppers are a favorite snack for Seattle Mariners fansAutocorrect is judging Jason, and he doesn’t appreciate the judgment. Steve is going out to the ballgame, and he only wants peanuts and … grasshoppers? Like, the insect? Also, priests might find it uncomfortable to take in an indie wrestling match. Shocker!

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 30: BEZOS’ BALLS!

The soldier with a very, very large backpackSteve’s nerdy, bulky backpack got him stuck in a bus door, and he was quite embarrassed. Jason attempts to give us all a listen to the smooth, soothing sounds of his digestive system. And we find out just how hard it is to have gas in a skyscraper.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 29: Can’t See The Forest For The Peen

An example of good naked and bad naked from SeinfeldSteve loves his new job, including all the naked dudes he can look at in the hotel across the street. Jason was disconcerted by a large cadre of naked men (in a locker room) (that he wasn’t supposed to be in). And together, the guys decide to stop hatin’ on those happy, naked souls.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 28: You Are Dumb More Times

A Japanese bidetDo you like to save a buck or two when you travel? Steve, the Frugal Frolicker, is here to show you how you can sleep in your car to experience the exotic local eccentricities! Went to China but forgot your personal toilet paper? Pick up a few realty pamphlets and your bum will beg you to move on up! Also, Jason has apprehensions about traveling and yes, they’re mostly about bathrooms.

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Today I Learned (Nothing) Episode 27: Tuck and Roll, Dragon’s Coming!

Angel hair pasta

Angel hair pasta … because we can’t, in good conscience, show you a picture of food with hair in it

Jason can’t forgive a hair, any hair, in his food, and the bathroom isn’t a great source of confidence, either. Also, both guys want to know, are women nesting when they build piles of hair in the shower? Meanwhile, Steve told his daughter a fantastical lie to encourage good eating habits, but that falsehood may someday have grave, and/or hilarious consequences.

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