So I was searching through many twisted web rings for web comics I haven’t seen before and I ran across this happy little list of sites: Natalie Dee, Married To The Sea, and Tooth paste for Dinner. I had of course heard of these sites before, but whenever I ask about them I always got the most annoyingly cryptic answers. “It’s really weird, but it’s funny and you’ll like it.” “It’s really dumb, but you’ll like it.” “I don’t really know how to describe it, but you’ll like it.” …And so on.

Usually the lack of strait answers/descriptions is a large turn off to me actually viewing a site, but out of morbid curiosity, I started clicking. After reading the archive of each I can only express bewilderment that borders on rage.

These sites are terrible. That’s it. They are ridiculously dumb and HORRIBLY drawn (save for the one with clip art), and yet have the notoriety and popularity to be seen widely through “mainstream” forums. Particularly College forums like Campus Blender and my very own Party East Carolina. At first I had no idea why. There are so many WELL DONE comics on this vast Interweb of justice, why aren’t THEY popular among these “mainstreamers” as well?

As I continued to give myself multiple aneurisms, I went on reading the archives. All I thought was “how terrible how horrible… *bitter bitter jealous jealous*”, yet even as I thought about these things I felt a giggle rising every time I hit the “next” button. On each site the giggle rose higher and higher. Before I was halfway through them I couldn’t contain myself. Between boughts of laughter I attempted to maintain my (much justified) anger, but it simply couldn’t be done. These “no talent hacks” have achieved the prize. They have formulated such a humor that is inescapable. There is no hiding from it nor is there use fighting, and heaven knows I
fought.

Sadly the vicious circle makes it so that I hate them the more I laugh. My own cartoons take a good chunk of time to draw and these people take 5 minutes to create something exponentially funnier. Using my own laughter as the gauge of my burning, (but perfectly justified) animosity, I should say I’m ready to destroy The Universe several times over. I hate these people so much with my laughter.

This madness of [simplicity == genuine funny] must be stopped, and as I see it there is, but one solution… We must generate an order to mount a counter attack of complex UNfunny web comics. I shall call this new order “The Serious Sarcastic Order”. With this new order I can assure victory over these comedic evil masterminds, so that well drawn comic strips of relative humorous quality may once again rule over the “mainstream” populace in this our hallowed Internet.

Until, such victory occurs, give the aforementioned evil geniuses above a click. They’re weird, but they’re funny. They’re dumb, but you’ll like them.

ENJOY!!!